Let's go back to Childhood

Personal Thoughts
I don't know whether parents lie and know when to stop? I might be selfish for saying this but ever since I saw friends and family go to Disneyland, it was like my dream to go there. My parents told me if I did good in school I'll be able to go to Disneyland. Been busting my ass since 1st grade till 6th grade. No Disneyland. They said the opportunity will always come and I would be able to enjoy Disneyland. Yea, when I take my kids to it, but I want to first hand experience it. What it's like to meet your cartoon characters in real life and inspire you that anything can be real. Well too bad I'm all grown up.

Presently, I want to go to Japan and hangout with my friends. They said no, we don't have enough money. Why not go to Vietnam and then when you come back, you'll get a car too at the end of summer. YEA THAT COST LIKE 2X AS MUCH AS IT WOULD COST FOR ME TO GO TO JAPAN AND GET A CAR AT THE END OF SUMMER. Douches. Well what can I do? Just sit here and STFU with a faggotory summer.

Well I'm tired of all this "soon to acquired opportunity" because it's just starting to annoy the shit out of me. "Why do you gotta go to that school?!" "Well, I gotta learn from a school that can actually teach my major very good." "Well, you can just learn from a regular school and screw that future" "Well I might as well drop my ass out of high school and sell pot like a bitch on a curb"





Day Blogging

Well, I made lunch for someone but the person didn't come. SADFACE* Well I gave it to my friend and he got like an orgasm from the burst of flavor. I guess my cooking is really that great or is he really that hungry? Well I'm glad I have people to think my cooking is great. Love those people.

Well I did homework, jogged, and watched the show called "The Office" Well I'm watching it while writing this blog. Well I caught some chat on facebook and I decided to do one thing. GO TO ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY AND PROBABLY GO TO ACADEMY OF FINE ARTS IN SAN FRAN. Than live somewhere away from Cali. That's my plan. Oh yea, one thing to the specific person. Hint: Mustache: I'm still here and always

Life is crazy when you like you someone isn't it?

PERSONAL THOUGHTS
I remember back in Jr. High/Middle School, that I liked this girl name Kelley and I couldn't get over her. It was like nothing could replace her. I had a convo with my friend after getting rejected by for about the 3rd time, he told me, "You still like her right? If you do keep chasing after her. If you don't, still chase after her." I don't know wether. I should keep chasing after her, even though I was hurting her. Final decision; go to Independence. That is my real and honest reason for all those out there who asked, "Why do you live so far away and go to this school?" Going here, I made great friends and best friends too. The ones I couldn't imagine meeting if I stuck with attending Oak Grove. I also met a girl. I started to like her and after about a year and a half, I started to fall in love with her. But obviously, she didn't think the same way. My old self caught up with me but this time, I tried to forget about her. Even then, I still loved her. I wouldn't mind waiting another 5 or so years for her. I thought about that since October of 2009. I finally lost the love I had for her. She was no longer the girl of my dream. I started to like one girl but I obviously and clearly know she wouldn't like me. After giving her that one gift, I decided that she isn't worth my time anymore. I'm just wasting my gifts for her. I'll just stay friends. Now that's how it is. Friends.

ACTUAL BLOG
So like i said previously in my personal thought, I'm done wasting time for that girl. She obviously doesn't like me or even show signs. Just ignores and w/e. Well I'm starting to slip in physics because Mr. Briber isn't correcting my work nor is he even taking a glance at it. I'm getting hooked on to League of Legends (L.O.L.).
I'm also practicing marksman and sword skills. I want to at least be to fight with either a gun or a sword. Cartoon sure gets to me aha. Oh yea! Did I mention, fucking our summer is going to be cut short because of the new schedule? Eff our lives. I need a break from girls and hw. I hope spring break or this weekend would take my mind off.

Posting a new favorite song!!!

ZANG

So wassup? I got some people asking me why I stopped posting on Blogspot, it's simple, I had time to blog but nothing interesting to say. I don't like to get you guys to read the minor details of my life a lot of times. Main ideas and keeping it short. Sorry for not posting for the past 1-2 months. And thanks for reading. If you guys would like me to blog about anything like my life, love life, or w/e. I'll decide on wether to blog about it or not. So yea...

1/5/10
MERRY LATE X-MAS
HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR.

I been through a rough '09 year. A lot of shit happened like crazy but I have to admit, the shit that happened, changed me a lot and showed who I can be instead of what someone wants me to be. Now I'm just aiming for my future. Just working hard and going with the flow. Trying to fix my flaws and so but it's pretty hard. Making intense new habits on sleeping, working out, and friends. So during my x-mas break, I spent most of the time at home playing games with friends and going to two parties. Spent about 2 days with family and had a visit from my cousin from another state. My mom and dad don't really celebrate that much of holidays and tend to stay home and so. They no longer offer a glass of wine nor a request for my special dinner. It seems the recession got to them badly. Even though my dad is back and working with a better wage than before, my mom thinks we are still going to die and starve. Well she's getting unemployment money that has the same amount as if she was working. Basically she just stays home and gets free money. Me, I been looking for a job lately but been having second thoughts. Anyone want to help me out? Now I'm just focusing on school and getting myself licensed. I have resorted back to playing paintball lately ever since I got my new equipment and stuff and I also started crushing on this freshman girl. But she barely talks to me or notices me. Sad Face isn't it? We barely talk it's like one long conversation every month and that's about it. Well I'm just gonna go with the flow now and see if she likes me or not.

I forgot to mention, my school, independence high, is like WTF. They say no hats allowed! Not even beanies or w/e that would cover your head including earmuffs. Then they go to advertise, "YOU CAN NOT WEAR HATS ON SCHOOL CAMPUS... UNLESS... THEY ARE IHS BRANDED HATS." Profit for the school, what fuckers. They don't care if it resembles gangs or w/e. They just want you to buy the school hat so they can make money. Man, they are already making money from the school sweaters, t-shirts, and scarves. Their already making money off of the "ASB" packages or ASB a lone. Damn the school, literally. No wonder it has a bad history. Gang fights and awful school status.

Well I'll blog more later on w/e. Have a nice 2010 and remember: It's not over till it's over.


Need to ask me something or just want to know about my personal life or w/e? Well click the link FormSpring. Ask me anything and I will answer 500% honestly.

A Special Word For You

You probably don't want to read this but;
This isn't a "I love you" or "I'm sorry" letter
It's more of a Thank you letter.
It's been almost 6 months since our fight,
I always wondered what would happened if I didn't bring anything up.
I wondered if I could ever be the guy by your side
Holding you at night wishing upon the stars.
I never knew if I was too late to be the guy next to you
Or simply I would've been turned down.
I remember when we use to talk on the phone for hours
Turning hard times into an adventure
Talking about stuff no one would ever talk about.
Now my phone lies on my desk cold
Yearning for your last call,
Me, standing there waiting for that last Hi and Good Bye.
I know that you're off happy
Giving me the feeling that I can move on,
But I always see that guy by your side wondering
And wondering if I can ever be that guy.
Helping me as a friend and a sister
I was blind to see that
Thinking you of a foe
I denied you and hid behind my lies.
Not knowing the gap between us was growing.
Now I miss you so,
That it pains me every time I see you walking
With that guy by you,
But I just want you to know
I would wake up early to say Good Morning
To sacrifice my friends to be there for you
To throw away my needs to make you feel like you were everything
But to stand there and know that you're using me.
It's fucked up, how you knew that I loved you
You stand there and laughed at me
While I thought we were laughing together
Now I stand there staring at the blue no longer debating over you,
Thinking of excuses for you,
And asking myself should I throw my future away for you.
But now I'm standing tall and getting through life.
Thanks.

Forever you would be happy
Understand that I'm Thanking You
Cycling through my mind I know that I can move on
Kind enough of you to never smile at me again

You changed me a lot
Organizing my life better than I can
Utilizing all my skills

A Special Word For You

Jumpy Feelings

Well it's the end of October, year sure is going by fast, yet I the only thing I accomplished so far is failure and more failure. It seems like whatever I do, it's like a step backward and when I try to fix it it's 5 more steps backwards. By then, the situation would've already been labeled "Failed". I can't seem to decide if I want to keep going for this girl or just wait. She doesn't seem like a keeper but what I really learned and experience first hand is that people are usually never what they look like. Maybe she can be a keeper if I a turn a blind eye on her other side? I don't know, I gave too many people chances and turned a blind on nearly everyone's corrupted sides. I think I trust people too much. I can't really tell who to trust and who to believe. I want to know, what am I to you guys?

I started to notice the mistakes I made these past few years of high school and Jr. High. These mistakes pile up and I always try to fix it but we all know that a mistake in the past is always futile to fix. But did you know that you can actually fix it? It's very simple to fix the mistakes in the past. The only thing you need to do is do the very best you can do fix it. Just don't say it's futile and leave it alone. At least put some effort into trying to fix it.

For some strange reasons I get these jumpy feelings or being bipolar as you call it. I felt depress and felt like I was the outcast of the world. I felt angry and that everything was against me. I felt proud like I just accomplished my dreams. I felt like I was a burden to everyone and just an outcast again. I don't know, these feelings become painful afterward and the only person I can turn to to talk about these feelings is no one but this BlogSpot.

Here's the song I was gonna sing for you Jenny, but I guess we don't talk as a much as we did the other days. So I guess I won't be able to sing you this song. Well here's the shitty lyrics.

Hey there Jenny
What’s it like knowing a strange guy?
But I'm sympathetic and nice
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
I never seen a girl as pretty as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Jenny
Don't you worry about me being strange.
I’ll be sympathetic and nice.
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Why did you steal my drink?

Hey there Jenny
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
It’s going to get better with me here,
It’ll always be fun
We'll be friends that you never expected
My word is good

Hey there Jenny
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I sang to you
Would take your breath away
I'd sing it all
Even more in love with you I’ll be
You’ll hear it all

Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
A sympathetic nice guy doesn’t seem to fit me
But I’ll always smile and give you a hand
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That they aren’t friends like you and me
Jenny I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And we smile at each other with laughter

Hey there Jenny
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Jenny here's to you
This one's for you

I wish you best of luck
And for sure you’ll always smile
And remember don’t you miss me because
I’ll always be there for you like a nice guy
I’ll always be there.

nothing much.

So it has been about 2 weeks since I blogged but ever since then I met some great new people! Did some crazy things and died in school studying and doing stupid shit. But other than that PARANORMAL ACTIVITY sucks so much. Not gonna spoil it but it's only good for the last 30 minutes. I give it a D-!!! So far nothing much but school and so so. I have to say one thing that was really interesting was I asked this girl out and it's been a month and we haven't gone on a date not even one single one. So I called it off. My friend told me I did something stupid and should just wait. But I don't really think so. Since I don't feel like going on a date with her and so so afterward, since I met this cute girl recently. O well w/e, gonna let my life glide and see what happens.

Yea damn weekends

So this weekend went by fast and a freakin blast of heat wave on sunday [today]. Oh well interesting new shows for TV and so. I need new dramas to watch, yes i watch drama, anyways need new dramas! Hit me up if you have any!

Oh yea, Need a place to talk or chit chat to whatever?
Come to my Ventrilo server.
Fast and simple setup!!
Just need a microphone!

Very easy to install and setup.
If you have any questions just IM me at sythy22!

Host name/ IP: 72.249.124.58
Port number: 6044
Password: forbidden

Have fun!