A Special Word For You

You probably don't want to read this but;
This isn't a "I love you" or "I'm sorry" letter
It's more of a Thank you letter.
It's been almost 6 months since our fight,
I always wondered what would happened if I didn't bring anything up.
I wondered if I could ever be the guy by your side
Holding you at night wishing upon the stars.
I never knew if I was too late to be the guy next to you
Or simply I would've been turned down.
I remember when we use to talk on the phone for hours
Turning hard times into an adventure
Talking about stuff no one would ever talk about.
Now my phone lies on my desk cold
Yearning for your last call,
Me, standing there waiting for that last Hi and Good Bye.
I know that you're off happy
Giving me the feeling that I can move on,
But I always see that guy by your side wondering
And wondering if I can ever be that guy.
Helping me as a friend and a sister
I was blind to see that
Thinking you of a foe
I denied you and hid behind my lies.
Not knowing the gap between us was growing.
Now I miss you so,
That it pains me every time I see you walking
With that guy by you,
But I just want you to know
I would wake up early to say Good Morning
To sacrifice my friends to be there for you
To throw away my needs to make you feel like you were everything
But to stand there and know that you're using me.
It's fucked up, how you knew that I loved you
You stand there and laughed at me
While I thought we were laughing together
Now I stand there staring at the blue no longer debating over you,
Thinking of excuses for you,
And asking myself should I throw my future away for you.
But now I'm standing tall and getting through life.
Thanks.

Forever you would be happy
Understand that I'm Thanking You
Cycling through my mind I know that I can move on
Kind enough of you to never smile at me again

You changed me a lot
Organizing my life better than I can
Utilizing all my skills

A Special Word For You