A Special Word For You

You probably don't want to read this but;
This isn't a "I love you" or "I'm sorry" letter
It's more of a Thank you letter.
It's been almost 6 months since our fight,
I always wondered what would happened if I didn't bring anything up.
I wondered if I could ever be the guy by your side
Holding you at night wishing upon the stars.
I never knew if I was too late to be the guy next to you
Or simply I would've been turned down.
I remember when we use to talk on the phone for hours
Turning hard times into an adventure
Talking about stuff no one would ever talk about.
Now my phone lies on my desk cold
Yearning for your last call,
Me, standing there waiting for that last Hi and Good Bye.
I know that you're off happy
Giving me the feeling that I can move on,
But I always see that guy by your side wondering
And wondering if I can ever be that guy.
Helping me as a friend and a sister
I was blind to see that
Thinking you of a foe
I denied you and hid behind my lies.
Not knowing the gap between us was growing.
Now I miss you so,
That it pains me every time I see you walking
With that guy by you,
But I just want you to know
I would wake up early to say Good Morning
To sacrifice my friends to be there for you
To throw away my needs to make you feel like you were everything
But to stand there and know that you're using me.
It's fucked up, how you knew that I loved you
You stand there and laughed at me
While I thought we were laughing together
Now I stand there staring at the blue no longer debating over you,
Thinking of excuses for you,
And asking myself should I throw my future away for you.
But now I'm standing tall and getting through life.
Thanks.

Forever you would be happy
Understand that I'm Thanking You
Cycling through my mind I know that I can move on
Kind enough of you to never smile at me again

You changed me a lot
Organizing my life better than I can
Utilizing all my skills

A Special Word For You

Jumpy Feelings

Well it's the end of October, year sure is going by fast, yet I the only thing I accomplished so far is failure and more failure. It seems like whatever I do, it's like a step backward and when I try to fix it it's 5 more steps backwards. By then, the situation would've already been labeled "Failed". I can't seem to decide if I want to keep going for this girl or just wait. She doesn't seem like a keeper but what I really learned and experience first hand is that people are usually never what they look like. Maybe she can be a keeper if I a turn a blind eye on her other side? I don't know, I gave too many people chances and turned a blind on nearly everyone's corrupted sides. I think I trust people too much. I can't really tell who to trust and who to believe. I want to know, what am I to you guys?

I started to notice the mistakes I made these past few years of high school and Jr. High. These mistakes pile up and I always try to fix it but we all know that a mistake in the past is always futile to fix. But did you know that you can actually fix it? It's very simple to fix the mistakes in the past. The only thing you need to do is do the very best you can do fix it. Just don't say it's futile and leave it alone. At least put some effort into trying to fix it.

For some strange reasons I get these jumpy feelings or being bipolar as you call it. I felt depress and felt like I was the outcast of the world. I felt angry and that everything was against me. I felt proud like I just accomplished my dreams. I felt like I was a burden to everyone and just an outcast again. I don't know, these feelings become painful afterward and the only person I can turn to to talk about these feelings is no one but this BlogSpot.

Here's the song I was gonna sing for you Jenny, but I guess we don't talk as a much as we did the other days. So I guess I won't be able to sing you this song. Well here's the shitty lyrics.

Hey there Jenny
What’s it like knowing a strange guy?
But I'm sympathetic and nice
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
I never seen a girl as pretty as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Jenny
Don't you worry about me being strange.
I’ll be sympathetic and nice.
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Oh why did you steal my drink
Why did you steal my drink?

Hey there Jenny
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
It’s going to get better with me here,
It’ll always be fun
We'll be friends that you never expected
My word is good

Hey there Jenny
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I sang to you
Would take your breath away
I'd sing it all
Even more in love with you I’ll be
You’ll hear it all

Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
Oh it’s the best I can do for you
A sympathetic nice guy doesn’t seem to fit me
But I’ll always smile and give you a hand
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That they aren’t friends like you and me
Jenny I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And we smile at each other with laughter

Hey there Jenny
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Jenny here's to you
This one's for you

I wish you best of luck
And for sure you’ll always smile
And remember don’t you miss me because
I’ll always be there for you like a nice guy
I’ll always be there.

nothing much.

So it has been about 2 weeks since I blogged but ever since then I met some great new people! Did some crazy things and died in school studying and doing stupid shit. But other than that PARANORMAL ACTIVITY sucks so much. Not gonna spoil it but it's only good for the last 30 minutes. I give it a D-!!! So far nothing much but school and so so. I have to say one thing that was really interesting was I asked this girl out and it's been a month and we haven't gone on a date not even one single one. So I called it off. My friend told me I did something stupid and should just wait. But I don't really think so. Since I don't feel like going on a date with her and so so afterward, since I met this cute girl recently. O well w/e, gonna let my life glide and see what happens.

Yea damn weekends

So this weekend went by fast and a freakin blast of heat wave on sunday [today]. Oh well interesting new shows for TV and so. I need new dramas to watch, yes i watch drama, anyways need new dramas! Hit me up if you have any!

Oh yea, Need a place to talk or chit chat to whatever?
Come to my Ventrilo server.
Fast and simple setup!!
Just need a microphone!

Very easy to install and setup.
If you have any questions just IM me at sythy22!

Host name/ IP: 72.249.124.58
Port number: 6044
Password: forbidden

Have fun!

A new Gen.

Dear friends,

We sit in a very chair in front of computer and illustrate ourselves upon others or vice versa. We demonstrate to the world that the laws of nature and the laws in general don't really apply to us. We just stay consistent in what we do, no matter what is thrown at us we demonstrate that even though we're young and reckless, we still have common sense and control. We might not show it at every moment in our life but when it is necessary, we make use of it.

Some of us believe hard study is the way to go to be successful, but that is a bunch of bull shit. The basics components of becoming successful is not to rely on a source of information but to actually use it to your advantage. Just do what you gotta do, it's nothing scary or hard. But keep this in mind, if you screw around and have fun now, a shitload of work awaits you. Just do the work and manage leisure time with it, and after the long years of tedious work is done, you can screw around as much as you can.

What I'm trying to say is that someday you might lose the greatest thing you loved or care for. You might have a dispute with your friend but just remember, if a friend is truly your friend, they will tell you to move on with them, cause they know you can do a lot better without them. It's not more like ditching your friends, it's more like they're trying to save your future from being crushed because you decided to follow them.

Friends come and go, family stick with you, and your best friends are your strength. If you look back in the past, you don't all your past but the great and bad ones. Then you notice life is going by fast, 16 or 15 years didn't feel long. We will be dead before we even know it. So make everyday count as if life only lasted for one measly day. What you put into is what you get out of it. I disagree. It's more like What you struggle and fight for is what you get. Remember that hard times don't last but the people willing to move forward will.

No regrets

Well, I cleared most of stuff with the girl I once truly loved. Now I know I can leave high school or this year [Junior] with no regrets and no more feelings towards her. She's now an obstacle that I cleared and opened a whole bunch of new doors to my future. It felt like 500 pounds were lifted off my shoulders. This wild adventure and memories started out happy and it ended out sad. I'm sorry it had to end like this, but when you told me that one day, we weren't hanging out because it was more like your repaying me for the one day you missed out on me, was just a heart breaking moment. That day, it felt like god just smite me with all he had. You're not cruel or mean, you were just trying to do the right thing. It seems nice but when you spoke the truth it was like losing a sister. Life is short and before you know it, you're dead as any other, so just forget about me and not wish that we never met but act and know as we never met. Friends stay with you and enemies will shortly forget about you. I'm not your friend neither am I your enemy, I just happened to be there. Not by fate not by destiny not by anything. I just happened to be there. If you think we were friends, I then can say you are truly cruel and evil.

We were never friends nor enemies. We were just happened to be there and talked to each other. I truly wish my memories with you would just vanish. Remembering you is like a weight making me sink endlessly into the void of no return.

-I'm sorry, just forget all about me and keep moving on.

It's none other than the person you named Mustache Boy. It was such a nice name but it lost its sole meaning and all possible definition that could've defined it.

Rawr Rawr Rawr Rawr

Rawr... So we can say for our school district that it's been 3 weeks of school. 3 WEEKS ALREADY? Hell yeaz!!! Well I can say Junior year/this year, it would go by really really fast. Cause for me, it didn't even feel like 3 weeks, it felt more like 4 days. Well, teachers already massing HW on me and I'm slowly getting more and more lazy. I don't wish it was summer now, I really wish it was winter, so I can sleep in my cozy bed.

Oh yea, have you guys ever had a dream where the dream itself had another dream and that dream had another dream so it totals up to like 3 dreams? Cause I did for the first time and holy snicker doodles, that crap is like getting high. When I woke up from it, my mind was numb and I was just staring the ceiling for like 4-6 minutes. Then I was just baffled... But yea dreams are effing crazy.

Well it's September, new TV shows, new teachers, barely any new friends, and my future to think about. Fuck architect btw, 17 years to become a professional architecture engineer, man by that time, I would've probably quit and work somewhere.

How so?

So i'm finally taking physics and now I wonder if I can successfully get into the college I need in order to accomplish my life's dream job. I need 4 years of physics and up to CALC. So for I'm only an average student in high school taking the regular required courses. Not exceeding and just doing what is necessary. I just want to see if I can exceed and get into that college. I hope I can.

Why did I talk about this is because me and my friends were just there in the gym, working out (swimming), and the subject of graduating and getting the jobs with the most pay just happened to sneak into our conversation. We asked each other the same question that seemed to baffle us all, "How so?" How you going to succeed and be the man with the riches. How so? A question that baffles me for the rest of my life.

We stopped working out and just sat on the benches just looking out the window and talking about each other best skills. Apparently, we don't our specialized skills. 1 year left before we have to choose and finalize our decision. Sadly, it's like some god dam Asian just "ninja" my future.

Oh well, I'll see what happens. I'll just have to deal with it and glide through life with the luck I have.

BTW, "A person doesn't stop, until their mind is crushed by the persuasion of the outside world."

Just gotta pull and shoot

So this weeks I spent most of time going out with my aunt that visit from vietnam and ate some good crawfish and some bad ones. But most of the time I just stayed home and chat and so so. But today was interesting because we actually played with our airsoft guns to the fullest. We found an empty area to play and we decided something like castle defense. 2 on the outside shooting the 1 guy in the playground area. Basically, shoot until someone gives up. But mostly the defender. So the game started me as first guy in the playground area (defender). The rules were simple I get shot 2 times and im out. Defender never wins until they can last until the day turns into night. I shot my friend in the face, HEADSHOT. Then my other friend was too far away and my pellets couldn't reach one. I decided to stick to one target and hit him. I got bored and went simple, then got shot 2 times. So it went on as we cycle through each other to be defender. Me I got shot 9 times on the arm but in return I hit my friends in the face 3 times. WIN. Now im just home wondering what to do and so so. Then waiting for my rollercoaster tycoon 2 +expansion to come home! Then I will rock the my amusement park with 5,000 people dead in my park. I shall be death park!

Quote: "If you're going to die at least die smart and not scream." -From a show I recently watched.

Let Me Tell You a Story.

Carlos was his name indeed. A bright boy from the start. No flaws says his parents. At the age of 14 did Carlos find and planned his career. After Jr. High, High school seemed to intervene with Carlos's planned future. It seemed he has fallen in love with a girl. No name can Carlos obtain from her nor any response from a conversation. Days later Carlos got a hold of her name and finally sparked a conversation of her interest, the afterlife. Endless talk from night to day, day to night. Nothing to stop Calors as his planned future was now focus on that one girl.

Soon asking her to be his date on valentine's day, Carlo's did with great hopes, rejected, broken down, his future came to a halt. He Looked at himself and decided it's done, back to studying and working hard. Soon Carlos got a job that no other can imagine he did. A job he was proud to be in. Met many people through that job, indeed he did. Who once was a bright boy who has fallen once into despair is now the boy with only one objective, obtain his career.

Soon he became cocky and finally understood he can go beyond his limits without having to worry about death. Pain was obsolete because the one day with the girl of his dream was like an unexplainable pain he felt. He knew that nothing can kill him except mother nature. He was able to attempt many things that people saw as a death sign. He became the smarts of the family and class but never attempted to go any higher because he knew if he went any higher, he would be crushed by his own strength.

Second year into high school and Carlos has obtain the knowledge to suppress anything that was unnecessary to him. Nothing can stop Carlos from exceeding and walking on the path that was set for him except that one girl. Every time he saw her, it was like the Devil just devour his soul. No longer could Carlos take it. Carlos approached the girl and asked her out on a date. She finally agreed. After the date he officially asked her to be his. She told him yes. She smirked a smile as Carlos jumped with joy to grab her hand and then only to see that after that moment, everything shattered and he was awoken by a shiny light. All Carlos can see was that God was in front of him with a depressed face.

Days later the news broadcast city wide about a boy who died by a sudden faint followed by a heart attack. A true tragedy they said. Parent's spilled the beans and decided to report to the news that Carlos was with a girl, the girl of his dreams, that Carlos would finally ask her to be his. But soon schools told Carlos's parents that such a girl never existed and no records of her are shown. Sadly, the boy never really got the girl of his dreams and saw what his future behold. Carlos only got the girl that sealed his fate.

His parent eventually gave up and committed suicide soon after their son's death. They spent too much time on Carlos and gave everything up for him. Now that Carlos lays wasted underground in a box marked with the scent of death, his parents are nothing. Carlos's friend, well let's just leave it as they really never existed. A bright future now engulfed by the dark mist of death.

Carlos's girlfriend was actually never real. She was a girl that he loved and only Carlos could love. The moment Carlos made her his, was the moment he finally obtain true happiness. Only to be crush with the truth God told him. She was a reaper to seal and end his fate. But the bitter memory he has of her, is that he only knew her name started with an "A". Now Carlos wants to tell the story of how his future and career was to get married and die with no regrets. How God ended it early for him because soon he would've figured out the scheme. His strength eventually led him to his demise.

Obstacles is what I died in

We been known to each other since childhood.
We fought many obstacles.
We fought them to the bitter end.
Even when one of us gives up.
Then we stand at the defeated obstacle only to know...
That we can no longer fight obstacles together.
We are no longer the people we known since then.
It seems our sides of faith have changed.
I can't say you believe in luck because you are luck itself.
Supported and never defeated.
I no longer see how you will become the person who would pull me out of abyss.
I can no longer see how we can interact.
It seems we have a new obstacle upon us
An obstacle that you nor me can bring down.
Unless we come to believe in what we used to believe in.
No longer are facing each other telling secrets.
We face each other with business on mind
And paperwork in our hands.
If I ever see you, it probably be...
70 years from the day I died in an obstacle.
You taught me many things, showed me the world, and showed me how cowardly I am.
Now that I'm strong, I became what you never expected.
Tell me, when you see me, am I a disgrace or a horror?

Feels nice P2

So like I said I'll write more because I was really tired and blogging was the last thing on my list to do before I go to sleep. So to continue the story, Vietnam is a pretty dirty place. But it has so happy moments on it. Places to eat is like next door or across the street or so. For people who don't understand. If you own a house, there is bound to business in front of your door. For example, someone might rent the front of your house to sell stuff or to sell food n so on. So yea, but they pretty much make stuff we wouldn't have here because if someone got sick or so, the chef would get sue and be broke as hell. So yea. But pretty much food is everywhere and at night is where all the good food starts. So my long time friend that I know since we were little is now 20 years old. He decided since I'm leaving early he'll take me out and indeed he did. He bought me to a place where BBQ takes place, it was like BBQ with anything, noodles, rice, or even with porridge. Which I tried the porridge because I never had BBQ with porridge. Overall, IT WAS FANTASTIC. The guy who made this just knew how to mix and balance out the flavor and texture of the food. I would love to learn the way he cooks someday. After eating he took me drinking, non-alcoholic of course, we sat down in the chairs in the dark. I literally mean the dark. The only lights were from the stars and moon, the nearby house that was making drinks, and a cart a women was pushing to sell snacks and fried meatballs and stuff. There was one food called the chicken tongue. My friend, he ordered it and I felt sick to the stomach. But he told me it's only called chicken tongue because the slice of salami curls up likes a chicken tongue when it's grilled. And when I tasted it, golly damn, it was good. After our drink arrived, I looked at my drink that contained sliced strawberries in a blended smoothie of bananas and tomato. Overall I actually didn't order this. My friend did. He said it was their specialty. Tomatoes with bananas? Sounds kinda nasty. So I ate the strawberries alone. Then he persuaded me to drink it. When I did I was expecting a crap load of spitting out the drink. But it was really good, like it should be rated number one drink of the year! So after drinking he took me to play pool and he took me to watch little pigs run around in the dark playing with their brothers and sisters. They looked really cute and I got to pet one! Then after that I got home and it was around 11:30 PM. I decided that I'll at least try the food when I go out to eat unless it is literally something like pig's heart or so. 2 days passed and I didn't do anything much because everyone was busy with work or school and today was my last day. I decided to have fun myself, so I walked around and around for like 30 minutes and I came upon a shop that sold some pretty interesting stuff. The shop was like a shop I never saw before, a shop containing items from myths and legends. Some were fake but some were real. A tooth from the loch ness monster. I presume it was fake but the texture and how it was shape made it looked real. And there was one that was really interesting a $50 bill that had george washington's face on it. The guy told me it was a misprint and this is one of the 22 bills that were misprinted. I took a look at it to make sure it was real but it sure seemed real, it had that face of someone when you hold it into the light. I wanted it but he told me #73 USD. Damn. The price is pretty fixed because it's a misprinted $50 bill. But other than that, pictures of aliens and so. I left the shop and I came by this other shop that sold noodles. It seemed to be really really crowded. So it must've been good. So I waited for a table. After 20 minutes or so, I got a table. I order a bowl of soft noodle extra crunchy. Now how the hell do you make soft noodle that is extra crunchy? To my knowledge of cooking, that is impossible! When my bowl of noodle came out, I saw that it was fried and not just cooked. When I took a chopstick full of noodles, every bite was crunchy but after you bite into the crunchy noodles, there's that soft inside noodle feeling. And you can literally tell the difference. It was like 50% crunchy and soft. After eating payed 22,000 Dong which is $1.17 USD. Which is really cheap. The food was amazing. I walked home and soon in front of the door was no one. Slippers were gone. My parents have decided to go drinking and partying becuase it's the last day. No suprise and I didn't want to stop them. So I went to go drink Ice tea with milk and pearls. Which is really good in my opinion. After that I just walked around and browse through shops. When I came home it was like 8PM and my parents weren't home. I got a call from my little 12 year old friend saying 6 in the morning, we're going to swim. I said okay. And I understoof why it was 6 in the morning. It's because tomorrow would've been the day I go to the airport, get on a plane, and suffocate until I get back to the US of A. After swimming it was refreshing and so on. When I got home it was 11 am and it was time for me to leave because there was going to be traffic and I can't be late. While the car ride there, I notice a lot of things, a lot of people knew me because a long time ago, I was the little rascal. I guess the word spread but also everything changed after I left 3 years ago. When I left 3 years ago, my friend's dad stopped smoking and started drinking less, my friend got a gf exactly 4 days after I left 3 years ago. I could list more but it's just a continous chain of remodeling themselves. I have to say, vietnam has some great stuff and some bad stuff. But same thing with USA. There are always Pros and Cons. OH yea, for others wondering about my flight trip, 3 hours to teipei, then 12 hours from there to the USA. So lets see you gotta wait one hour at teipei before going to the USA. So It's 15 hours and I slept 13/15 hours. Which made my flight trip seem fast [= And now I'm back here and gotta distrubute the gifts I got for people.

Feels nice

So I left on the 14th, 2 days after school ends, for Vietnam. I was pretty amazed that the flight there was short, well because I slept. While I was there I literally got to see some pretty amazing shows of all sorts. The best one I saw was a guy throwing and spinning noodles in the air. Sadly the noodles were overcooked and my bowl of noodles sucked. Bummer. I also got to see a show where monkies and dogs are just running around doing tricks and flying through hoops and so on. Then I also got to touch my favorite animal! The monkey! Then I went to the most common beach in Vietnam and literally got stun by jellyfishes. So gay. The best highlight of this trip was talking to a man who experienced a lot. He told me he experienced so much abuse from his parents because he couldn't at least bring home $20 which is like 360,000 VND/Dong. He says that people who only see through their point of view tend to dislike everything and think that they are the center of everything. He told me that if I ever wanted to be successful in life, I must never look back or look what is infront of me. He told me to look down and put my hand palm facing down. When I asked why? He told me that when you look what's infront of you you see a bright and great future. You get cocky and you tend to slack off. But when you look down and focus on your work, you are setting up your future. Then he told me when your palm is facing up, you are begging/asking for stuff that you are too lazy to obtain through work, which making yourself pathetic. But when your palm is facing down, you are working and getting what your desired by hard work and determination. He told me we all see quotes on life and see what life really is. But when we see stuff we tend to think highly of ourselves and not see the complexity of life. But when we face it in person, it is a whole new chapter that opened in your life. Even though he wasn't successful, he knew exactly what he was doing. Well the best high light of all of my vacation in Vietnam was going because I myself need some sanitary. Vietnam isn't really the difinition of sanitary. It's worse than the sewers because Vietnam itself is a sewer and garbage dump. People's bathroom is like on the streets or infront of the house. The trashcan is like whereever because there is no law on littering. Well i'll post more later

whoopie doo

So like today kinda pissed me off cause someone wasn't at the mall and didn't answer my calls or replied back for texting. But yea w/e. Then went to a card shop bought some packs. Pulled 80 bucks worth of cards. Apprently the two cards that is worth 80$ total isn't easy to get! so i guess im a lucky guy. Then i also got my blue highlights for my hair. Faded blue actually. But since my hair wasn't long enough i had to have dots of blue instead of stripes. Too bad i can't take pictures with it because it's dark enough to blend in with my black hair SAD FACE. Then i gotta get ready to go on vacation on sunday and leave throughout the summer. Really sad, i was hoping to spend it with mustache girl jimmy and nicole but apprently i guess not. o well today was like neutral, happy n mad. Oh then i also go to play tennis realizing that it's really hard. Then played basketball and handball. Pretty active today. Wheee

It's finished and over with, that's what I thought

After today the one I truly loved would forever be gone. No longer would I exist in her memory. I thought it would be easy. I thought I can toughen myself and tell her good bye forever. But I was wrong. It was like my world shattered into a million pieces and all there is left is a new a world without her, without happiness. But still that new world can't replace the happiness and the hope she gave me. Sadness trails me but I will have to just reform and toughen myself. Never would I forget her nor forgive myself. But what has to be done, has to be done. All there is left before I leave is to see her become a successful student and graduating high school without me dragging her down. After that, I can truly move on with my life.

Good bye forever and sorry.

It's Finally Over. Jeez took a while.

So like after 2 days of awesome chatting and accidentally talking about my feelings for a while. I finally realize and came to my senses that I can't score a not even or just a date with her. Why should I keep pushing myself and picking myself up for her. I can't believe I'm actually saying this but she's obsolete to me. And for the next two years I'm going to reform and try to dictate myself instead of letting my love do it for me. Truly loved 2 girls and both gone. I actually wished, I really didn't meet her and interacted with her. Like hell it slowly rises. Like poison it slowly kills. Thanks Gentlemen Production friend for reading my blogs and caring. I'm sorry I can't really talk about this even though I talked about it to your friend. But yea thanks for reading. Appreciate it.

Oh yea, summer break is almost there. After final exams I know for sure, I'm going to be free until high school is over.

Why does it kill me? Why?

I keep thinking about this one girl and she seems to be like everything I think about now these days. Nothing to do but just think about her. She kills me every time I think about her. But when I hear her voice and see her smiling face, it's like all my worries are gone. I always wonder when that day would come when I know for sure I can get a date with her. I know it will never happen but for some reason, I just keep pushing myself to impress her. She's unforgettable. I just wish I can forget about her sooner or later. It's like poison slowly killing me. Well just gotta get through this year and hope summer clogs my mind with the joyful memories.

ALMOST THERE!! COME ON!

So like it's been since I blogged, but damn, I pretty much kept myself busy with homework, school, sports, and a lot of thinking. Oh jeez, this is a first timer. I usually do one or the other. But hey what can I say? I'm Asian. So I got back into my architecture field again by making this semi-awesome looking gazebo for geometry. And I know for sure I scored a lot of extra points on it because my teacher told me so. But yea. Swimming came to an end! And I'm actually proud of how I ended it too! I cut my 200 free by like a minute! But my 100 free by only like 4 seconds? So I kept myself busy with school after sport ended. But then after the gazebo project. I recently occupied myself thinking. Thinking about when to do this and that. Then I came across a thought about the girl I liked. I recently found out, I fell in love with her. Werid isn't it. Well I know I can't have her, so I tried to give up on her, knowing the fact that it's impossible to get her. While trying to give her up, I stopped becoming bored and started to actually pay attention to my own outside studies and my own hobbies. Also I been working out like crazy! I said after Junior year or maybe halfway through, I'll get the abbs and stomach I been wanting! I'm like 3/7s way there! But yea, thoughts and thoughts. But hey! I'm asian and forever I last!!!

Achoo! SAY WHAT?

So like I spent a couple weeks just chilling and thinking. Thinking about the past and the present girl. I hurt her and never got a chance to tell her that I was really sorry. But now that I think about it, no matter what I said, no words can ever change her mind about me. No matter what, I couldn't just tell her but she once was everything, the highlights of my life. Now all I can say is that she's gone. I tried to forget her but I can't, but I notice that I really don't love her anymore. I actually loved someone new. I think by end of this year, I'm probably gonna screw everything up with her. 2 people I truly loved, One is gone, and one is on the brink of disappearing. Can I keep it going or screw up again? How can you love someone but never find a moment to tell her?

bleh

So I got lucky cause no meet thanks to the swine flu! GG. Well then we have finals next week. Such a goddam tiring week with all the star testing and crap. Then I got this girl I try not to talk to. But she keeps talking to me. Man fucking star testing is like killing all my energy. Freaking coach ben put me on 200fr and 100fr, dam. I gotta say with finals coming up especially with 200fr kinda freaking gets me nervous. But hey, it's life and swimming of course. Well, I hope great things show up next week. Then when swimming ends! It's time to work out!

It's been a while

So it has been a while since I posted a blog. I been busy trying to study and catch up on academics. Then I also try to catch up with my "strategy games". Not a lot of exciting happened lately. All I can say is swimming is almost over, just one more week, and also i'm starting to doubt myself on doing things a lot more often now. I can't seem to raise myself morale. It seems to be decreasing slowly that each days passes by. All I can say is that the past in me is still a mystery. Not knowing what actually happened around me when I was little, was a huge impact on my life. I decided that whatever happened in the past, I'm just gonna what the fuck it. And just wonder about it. Well w/e. It's life. Shit happens. Well I decided that I will be leaving after this year. I got an excuse to leave. I'm pretty sure, I won't regret anything when I leave. But i'll take my leave and just STFU.
-FML

Tiring and bitching

I didn't do swimming for PE cause I didn't want to tired myself out but there came BIO. A test that was to help us study for the STAR or w/e. And my dumbass teacher counted it as an actual test. FML. Well then lunch and stuff came by smoothly. I was pretty happy during lunch but then came 6th period. My friend he got caught cheating on a test. Are you serious. Now Martinez is just going to be more of a bitch and be cautious all day long. What a bitch move. But anyways, there came swimming meet. And I did okay but damit, the opposing team was fast as hell. Well at least I came in 2nd and 3rd for most race. Not so sure about relay. Then to make it worse after the race my legs became even more sore from dry land. Then came home with mom bitching and lecturing on how i'm such a dumass for losing in a swimming event. Um, okay? Then she goes to talk shit about my friends but w/e. It's a mom thing. Well gonna go to sleep and just breeze through friday.

Easy Peezy

I was so happy school started today at 11 and it started it off pretty mild temperature. Then it was all good until swimming. Then class was just easy sailing. Martinez finally gave us one test that we can take home. Then came swimming which sucked ass cause my right ankle was hurting like hell since I landed on it yesterday when I jumped off a ledge. But dam. Then after my appointment in orthodontist, for some strange reason I just had to ask this girl for her number! And in surprise she gave it to me! XD but I hope it's the right number >.< and not just a made up one or even worse! IT'S HER PARENT'S NUMBER. But yea. All I gotta say is eazy peezy day!

~~Exhausted~~

So like today was a okay day. I had like a stomach ache all god dam day. Like the going to the bathroom didn't even work. Then for swimming I just decided to do dry land since today felt like it was kinda cooler than yesterday. Well after my first lap, I did a pit stop for the bathroom because my stomach was still hurting! But bathroom still fails. Then after a while I finished all 3 laps. Man the dry land sure did feel good after I was done. I felt so refreshed. Well I also had like 2 box full of yugioh cards that got savaged by a bunch of people. But w/e. O well, I wonder the people who savaged my box of yugioh cards would just stay friends or just be friends for cards that aren't that great.

IF YOU GOTTA CRY OR BITCH.
FMYLIFE.COM
NOT IN FRONT OF FRIENDS

Work out day

Oh man today it was sooooo god dam to hell hot! But luckily we swimmers have the pool to cool off unlike the track and tennis people! Sucks to be them. Anyways I did 10 laps of Butter Fly stroke for an EXCUSED absent! Gay. Then we did flyouts, holy shit did that suck. Lets see You swim butterfly style to the other end, pull yourself up. EASY. Then you butterfly back. Get out do 10 pushups because I provoked him to do 10 pushups. And holy hell, the ground was burning my hand. But anyways it was a good workout! Aslo no homework, so I just get kick back, stare at the wall until it moves, and also play the STFU game.

Well I'm back!!

Well for the past year, I didn't post anything much because nothing interesting happened last year. So lets see, I asked one girl out, rejection of course, but it ended it all good. Then I also joined swimming. Getting into shape. Starting biking, basketball, and independent work out! Soon I would be in shape for summer! Well I had a lot happened this year.

Oh yea, spring break is almost over. I caught up on my daily things I couldn't do. But I also got a lot of chances to think over a lot of things. Hmmm, well once school is back in session, so is swimming, and HW. Man school is a bitch move. Well at least spring break is going to end well...